Landon has been entertaining this evening.
Have I mentioned I like lists?
Here are a few things that have recently brought a smile to my face:
1. Landon in pretend play, talking about setting a timer and putting Mommy in Time Out. He's kind of right on. Even I need a Time Out every now and then.
2. Walking in from work to Landon telling me, "I missed you, Mommy!".
3. Laying on the drive way with Boy Wonder at my side, taking in the beauty of a gorgeous blue sky.
4. Playing outside in the unusually cool August weather.
5. Rain. The sight, the smell, the feel of it gently falling and melting in to my skin. Awesome.
6. Watching Landon streaking through the house, post bath, laughing hysterically and saying, "NAKEY, LANDON, NAKEY LANDON!".
7. The tickle fest that followed the streaking.
8. Watching and listening to my husband playing with our son.
9. Conversing with my very verbal 2 year old and hearing him tell me about his day. "Played with Grandma and played in the rain and smelled flowers and read the Thomas book and drank papaya juice....". Yeah, you get it.
10. Reading books together.
11. Time spent with my niece and nephew over the weekend. They are awesome kids.
12. Girls night, laughter and awesome conversation with dear friends.
13. Finally getting to prepare a meal in my kitchen without it being 8000 degrees!
14. Listening to another Mama share with me about her child who overcame ulcerative colitis. She gives me hope and helps me keep fighting for Landon.
15. Prayer time with my darling.
16. Hugs and encouraging words from my supportive, loving husband.
17. Body Butter from The Body Shop. Freaking Heaven in a jar!
18. Utilizing space more efficiently.
19. Unexpected text messages saying "I love you" and "Thinking of you".
20. Early birthday wishes.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Friday, August 10, 2012
Reality
Sometimes reality is awesome. Sometimes reality sucks. One thing is for sure; it is what it is.
We are adjusting to our new normal, which basically means things are always changing. Make sense? Yeah, it doesn't to me either.
Landon has good days and not so good days. I would be lying if I said it were easy. It isn't. Not at all. Most days I have to do a lot of self talk and remind myself to count my blessings. When I go to change a diaper I have to mentally prepare myself because I still struggle every time I see blood. I have no idea how we will get him potty trained. I cry daily; sometimes out of sadness, sometimes out of relief that we endured another day, sometimes out of grief for what I thought Motherhood would be, sometimes out of sheer joy and love. I am constantly searching for answers and alternative ways to treat Landon's symptoms. We do our best to feed him well and right, based on his condition. I'm grasping at anything and everything and researching all the time. Thank God for Google! :)
When others ask about Landon, I have found myself down playing what we go through. I believe I do this for a number of reasons. Firstly, I have a strong belief in our thoughts and words becoming our reality. I fear that if I really go in to detail about what we go through that it could negatively effect Landon's healing. The more positive and upbeat I stay, the more of an advantage he will have to win this battle. He WILL persevere and he WILL come out on top. I have no doubts about that. Secondly, I am not a complainer and never want to be seen as someone who isn't grateful for what I have. I am an eternal optimist and I am grateful. I know at some point I will look back on all of this and see the gifts in our experience. Thirdly, I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. I know many people just don't know what to say when they hear our story. I get that. I really do.
With all of that being said, the reality is that this sucks a lot of the time. Some of the things we have to do on a daily basis are not fun. I'm sick of poop. I want my son to be healthy. I long for the day when we get to know him off of the mind altering medication that is Prednisone. I want so badly to trade places with him.
On the flip side, I am seeing progress in his healing. He is in a much better place than he was in December of last year. Night and day difference! We are discovering new ways to help him and the new therapies are proving to be beneficial. I'm incredibly excited for his future. He was put on this earth for a reason and I have a feeling his purpose will have quite an impact. What an honor it is to walk beside him and support him in his journey. I'm proud to be his Mama.
That's my reality. A somewhat emotional, always grateful, at times exhausted, PROUD Mama.
We are adjusting to our new normal, which basically means things are always changing. Make sense? Yeah, it doesn't to me either.
Landon has good days and not so good days. I would be lying if I said it were easy. It isn't. Not at all. Most days I have to do a lot of self talk and remind myself to count my blessings. When I go to change a diaper I have to mentally prepare myself because I still struggle every time I see blood. I have no idea how we will get him potty trained. I cry daily; sometimes out of sadness, sometimes out of relief that we endured another day, sometimes out of grief for what I thought Motherhood would be, sometimes out of sheer joy and love. I am constantly searching for answers and alternative ways to treat Landon's symptoms. We do our best to feed him well and right, based on his condition. I'm grasping at anything and everything and researching all the time. Thank God for Google! :)
When others ask about Landon, I have found myself down playing what we go through. I believe I do this for a number of reasons. Firstly, I have a strong belief in our thoughts and words becoming our reality. I fear that if I really go in to detail about what we go through that it could negatively effect Landon's healing. The more positive and upbeat I stay, the more of an advantage he will have to win this battle. He WILL persevere and he WILL come out on top. I have no doubts about that. Secondly, I am not a complainer and never want to be seen as someone who isn't grateful for what I have. I am an eternal optimist and I am grateful. I know at some point I will look back on all of this and see the gifts in our experience. Thirdly, I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. I know many people just don't know what to say when they hear our story. I get that. I really do.
With all of that being said, the reality is that this sucks a lot of the time. Some of the things we have to do on a daily basis are not fun. I'm sick of poop. I want my son to be healthy. I long for the day when we get to know him off of the mind altering medication that is Prednisone. I want so badly to trade places with him.
On the flip side, I am seeing progress in his healing. He is in a much better place than he was in December of last year. Night and day difference! We are discovering new ways to help him and the new therapies are proving to be beneficial. I'm incredibly excited for his future. He was put on this earth for a reason and I have a feeling his purpose will have quite an impact. What an honor it is to walk beside him and support him in his journey. I'm proud to be his Mama.
That's my reality. A somewhat emotional, always grateful, at times exhausted, PROUD Mama.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Date
I had a date tonight. We went to Fizz for burgers. This guy is awesome. He is super cute, easy to talk to, has a sweet disposition and is just darling all the way around. He is mine all mine! Check out that smile! Yep, he has captured my heart. I hope my husband won't mind...
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Finger Paints
Landon got his first experience with finger paints today. I wasn't sure how it would go down because this boy is somewhat particular when it comes to messy hands. And by somewhat particular, I mean he really doesn't like stuff on his hands.
He did awesome and loved it! He only asked to "wash hands" and "Mommy wipe off please" a couple of times. He had a great time and was fascinated by all the paint on his hands. He didn't dive right in necessarily but by the end he had paint all over himself.
Success!
He did awesome and loved it! He only asked to "wash hands" and "Mommy wipe off please" a couple of times. He had a great time and was fascinated by all the paint on his hands. He didn't dive right in necessarily but by the end he had paint all over himself.
Success!
Material World
What is the obsession with having so much stuff!? I mean, I like nice things too but I sure don't pin my existence on material goods. Maybe it has something to do with everything Scott and I have been through with Landon in the last year. Maybe.
I value feelings, emotions, memories made, people, experiences, kindness, friendships, quality time. I really don't care what kind of house you live in, what car you drive, what the label on your clothing reads or how many "toys" you have. In the end it's about love and enjoying our time here. I guess for some, "stuff" is equated with happiness. No thank you.
I'll tell you this; after the immense about of emotional pain I've experienced and watching my only son suffer in the last year, there is not one thing I wish for more than his prolonged and continued health. You can keep your boats, fancy houses, ipads, designer bags/shoes, vacations, etc. I promise there is not one thing that will bring happiness like having a happy, healthy child. I took that for granted. I never will again.
Am I the only one left who feels this way? Surely not!
I value feelings, emotions, memories made, people, experiences, kindness, friendships, quality time. I really don't care what kind of house you live in, what car you drive, what the label on your clothing reads or how many "toys" you have. In the end it's about love and enjoying our time here. I guess for some, "stuff" is equated with happiness. No thank you.
I'll tell you this; after the immense about of emotional pain I've experienced and watching my only son suffer in the last year, there is not one thing I wish for more than his prolonged and continued health. You can keep your boats, fancy houses, ipads, designer bags/shoes, vacations, etc. I promise there is not one thing that will bring happiness like having a happy, healthy child. I took that for granted. I never will again.
Am I the only one left who feels this way? Surely not!
Artsy
I've been wanting to get Landon an art easel for quite a while but haven't been able to locate one I really liked. Yesterday, I found one and it was in the budget so I picked it up. My niece, Katie, was with Boy Wonder and when I got home he was down for a nap. She and I worked together and got everything put together. When Landon woke up I told him there was a special surprise waiting for him in the living room. As soon as he saw it he knew just what to do and went to work on his first masterpiece! I have been trying to teach him that it's an art easel but he always refers to it as "my peshul pah-prise". I think he likes it!!
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