Old Stuff

Yesterday I started writing a timeline of Landon's symptoms. Going back and reliving that time was heart wrenching. I sobbed the entire time and had to stop writing every minute because I couldn't see through my tears. It isn't finished either. So far, I have made it to our angel flight to Children's Mercy. I will finish it soon. I need to. I need to be done with it.

This morning as I was cleaning, I finally went through a couple bags of stuff from Landon's first hospital stay. Wow, talk about dredging up some emotional crap.

I came across a few books; a Bible, Don't Sweat the Small Stuff and a puzzle book. There were several puzzles started but none finished. I'm certain I didn't even start reading Don't Sweat the Small Stuff but it's on my bedside table now.

I found two folders containing all of his hospital paperwork, including his list of medications. Wow, that boy was on a lot of stuff!

I also found all of the cards and notes of encouragement from our family and friends. Water works ensued as I looked through all of those. There were several handmade cards and pieces of art.

I boxed everything up and put it in storage. It felt good.

I'm trying to let go of the past and truly focus on enjoying the present. I'm choosing to live in the NOW!