Motherhood. It Ain't for Wussies!

Yes, I totally used the word "ain't" in my title. Sometimes it's necessary to break grammatical rules.

I think you all know by now, I truly love being a Mama. It's wonderful in so many ways. Except when it isn't.

This morning, it wasn't wonderful. It was the opposite of wonderful. It was hard. I lost my shit with my son all before 8:00 a.m. 

He is independent, head strong, stubborn and likes things HIS way. I am independent, head strong, stubborn and like things MY way. Yeah, recipe for disaster at times.

He threw a 45 minute fit, which stemmed from me telling him to pull up his undies on his own. He wanted me to help. I wanted him to do it on his own. Tug. Of. War. with no winners. 

He screamed, threw things at his bedroom door (because he was in time-out), pretended to be all calm so I would open the door then started acting like a complete maniac again as soon as he saw my face.

I know I often talk about soaking in all the moments with my child. I talk about how beautiful this parenting thing is. I talk about enjoying life together because I know he won't be little forever. I believe those things. I truly do. I also believe that you don't have to love every single moment of parenting. 

Sometimes, being a parent isn't fun. Sometimes, on mornings like this one, I actually cannot wait to get out the door for work, just for 15 minutes of solitude as I drive. You know what? It's OKAY! 

Before I left this morning, Landon actually got calmed down for real and we were able to sit together for about 5 minutes. We talked about his fit. We talked about using our words in a normal decibel instead of maniacal screaming, which Mommy cannot understand anyway. He apologized for his actions. I apologized for mine. Even when your kids are very young, it's important to admit to them when you're wrong. They need to hear that "I'm sorry" just as much as you do. We said "I love you" and had many hugs and kisses before I walked out the door. As I drove to work, in solitude, I reflected on how the morning went down and what I can do next time (because you all know there will be a next time!) to possibly lessen the fit. I thought about how I could react differently and give him different, better choices. I thought about how I can continually nurture his independent, strong will, because as much as it drives me batty now, it will serve him well in life. He is my Mini ME and I need to remember that when we have these challenging moments. What would work for me?

Most of the time, Landon is sweet and fun. He is a very good, loving, happy boy. He is resilient and has endured more than most kids his age. He amazes me daily.

Motherhood. It's crazy hard at times. It's okay if you don't enjoy it 100% of the time. Nobody else does either, even if they say they do.

Here's a quote I love:

     "Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother" ~Lin Yutang

I am absolutely grateful for the opportunity to be a Mother. Some days are just more difficult than others.