I will inform you now, this may be a very lengthy post.
Landon was a little fussy last Sunday evening and in to Monday. We chalked it up to teething. Scott was off work Monday so he was home with Landon. He brought him to the office to have a treatment with Dr. Matt and I could tell he was just not himself. I got home Monday evening and he was about the same. Fussy and just not doing well. We took his temperature and it was about 102.3. I was officially worried. I am a very natural minded person and try to parent Landon in the most natural way possible. We had never given him anything except homeopathic remedies and the very occasional Orajel on the gums when he was really hurting. So, here it is, Monday night and I have a baby with a fever and I'm scared. I went to Dillon's and got some Infant Advil. I was worried about the fever. I gave him the Advil and immediately felt a wave of guilt come over me. I don't know exactly why I felt so guilty except for maybe my desire to not put foreign stuff in his body. However, I was NOT willing to sit back and let him suffer either. He had a pretty tough night, waking several times.
I stayed home with him Tuesday, continued with the homeopathics and Advil, in hopes that he would feel better. That evening, we took his temperature and it was 103.7. At this point we kinda figured it was more than teething. We gave him some Advil and put him in a tepid bath. When we got him out, I was holding him in his towel and he began to shake in my arms. His little lips were quivering and his teeth were chattering. I was terrified! I sat with him, skin to skin, with his towel draped over his back. He was burning up and crying. He quieted down and we stayed just like that for an hour and a half. Those of you who know Landon know he doesn't stay still for more than 10 seconds. This just wasn't at all like my baby. I silently cried as I held him in my arms. I talked to a couple of other Mom's (who are like-minded) and they reassured me that Scott and I were doing the right things. I decided to put a call in to our doctor just to get some answers. I talked to the doctor on call at about 9:00 Tuesday evening. I told him all the symptoms Landon was having...cough, congestion, fevers, lethargy...and he told me that it was definitely something more than teething. He said to keep an eye on him and if he got to a point where he wasn't eating or drinking well then we should bring him in. He said that the shaking was normal and just part of the fever. I felt a little better after talking to him. He also told us we could alternate Infant Tylenol and Infant Advil to control the fevers. Out I went to get Tylenol. Landon slept in bed with me until about 2 a.m. I didn't sleep at all. When he woke at 2, I gave him some medicine and put him to bed in his crib. I got about 2 and a half hours of very broken sleep. I cried a lot that night.
I had to work Wednesday. My Momma came over to be with Landon. I went in a little late so I could get him up and make sure he was ok. I kissed him goodbye, then sat in my car and cried. How could I do this to my baby? I was leaving him when he needed me. I was so torn! The only reason I was able to walk out the door is because I knew my Mom was with him. I knew she would be gentle and kind. Also, she promised to monitor his temperature and call me if it went up or if she felt like I needed to come home. When Matt (my boss) came in that morning, he asked me how Landon was doing. I had a complete melt down, streaming tears and all. I was completely exhausted and I was so worried about my baby! Matt said some nice things and I composed myself so I could get some work done. Thank God I have an understanding boss! I called several times to check on Landon and came home over lunch to make sure he was ok. Wednesday evening and night was terrible. Landon was losing his desire to eat and drink. He was crying almost non-stop. He cried for a full two hours straight a couple of different times. I was bawling right along with him. I tried to cuddle him close and he wanted nothing to do with me. It came to a point when he wouldn't let Scott or I touch him at all. I felt helpless and heart broken. All I wanted was to scoop him up, hold him in my arms and reassure him that everything would be ok. I was at a loss of what to do. I put blankets by his crib and laid down right next to him. He just laid there and cried. I cried too. As soon as the Advil/Tylenol wore off his fever would spike back up near 104. We knew something was really wrong. Scott and I talked about the possibility of an ear infection. He slept in his crib that night.
I went to work Thursday morning and my Mom came over again. I called his pediatrician first thing and got him an appointment. We got to the doctors office and it seemed like we had to wait forever! In reality, we waited in a room for about 30 minutes. When Dr. H came in, she confirmed what we thought, an infection in his left ear. I burst in to tears and had another meltdown. What was wrong with me? I could not contain my emotions. I felt terrible! Why didn't I take him in sooner? Did we make him suffer unnecessarily? He also was diagnosed with RSV, which is kind of common in little ones but can get really bad if it isn't caught early. Let me just say, Dr. H is AMAZING! She told me that I could have brought him in Wednesday and the ear infection probably wouldn't have even been there. We talked a bit and she thought the ear infection was probably starting the night before when he didn't want to be touched. I was happy to finally have some answers!
We started him on an antibiotic and he showed signs of improvement within 24 hours. Last night he slept in his crib ALL NIGHT LONG! I am so glad he's finally feeling better.
This was one of the hardest things I have ever been through. I don't know what I would have done with out the support around me. Scott was great! Even though Landon really only wanted me, he still got up every time Landon did. He was just there, being present. That was just what I needed from him. I'm not gonna pretend that it was all perfect. I had no patience and I snapped at him a few times. He did the same to me. That's part of it. In the end, we supported each other. Our friends, family and everyone who checked in with us meant the world to me. There were a few people who really pulled me through with their words of wisdom. They know who they are and I am supremely grateful!