Thursday, January 30, 2014

Stay at Home or Working Outside the Home. We are Mom's.

You've all heard about the Mommy Wars. Right? I'm not talking about who is a better Mom, I'm referring to The Stay at Home Mom vs. The Working Outside of the Home Mom.

Lately I've been seeing articles pop up regarding The Stay at Home Mom and how hard they work and how they don't receive any credit for all of their hard work. You know what I think about this? They do work hard and they absolutely do deserve to be recognized for all of their hard work. Guess who else works hard and deserves recognition? The Working Mom. ALL MOMS WORK HARD! Sorry about the yelling, but that part seems important. Yes?  

Please allow me to further break it down for you. 

The Stay at Home Mom is often the envy of others, who think she gets to sit around, do crafts, sing songs, and play with her children all day. The truth is, much of her day is taken up with telling her kids to stop arguing, making meals, doing laundry, mopping floors, wiping butts and snotty noses, stocking the pantry, planning meals, toting kids to and from school, and all the other tasks associated with running a household. You understand what I'm saying. However, she also gets to play with her children. She is there when they fall down and need a kiss, to give a hug, a smile or simply join them in laughter. Her job doesn't ever end though. She is up in the middle of the night with sick children, she's washing bedding at 3:00 a.m., she's frazzled when the sun begins to come up, knowing she has a full day to get through...again. She is raising tiny humans to be participating members of society. She's a Mom 24/7.  

The Working Mom is also often the envy of others. She gets to go to work every day, she gets to have adult conversation, she gets to sit down while she eats a warm lunch without kids hanging from her legs, she gets to provide her own income, she gets adult conversation on a very regular basis. You know what else she gets? The guilt of leaving her children every day to go to work. She gets the guilt of letting her colleagues down when her children are sick and she has to call in. She gets to shuffle her kids around on the days when they aren't well enough for daycare, yet missing work simply isn't an option. She gets to work all day then come home and work some more, preparing dinner, cleaning the house, doing laundry (seriously, cant' we find a way for it to do itself by now?!) and readying everything for the next day. She is also awake in the middle of the night, tending to sick children, cleaning up puke and changing sheets. She's frazzled as she prepares for work in the mornings, doing her best to be presentable when she just wants to sleep for days. She runs a house hold too. Her job doesn't ever end. She is also raising tiny humans who she hopes will be participating members of society. She's a Mom 24/7.  

Too often, people judge us Mom's. I hear things like, "Well, The Working Mom chooses to work" or "The Stay at Home Mom chooses to stay home". Okay, yes, maybe. Those choices come with their own trade offs though. The Working Mom may only be working because it's what she has to do to make sure her family has a roof over their heads and food on the table. So, sure, she chooses to work to help provide for her family. Or, maybe she chooses to work because *gasp* she actually enjoys her career! The Stay at Home Mom may be staying home because it makes no sense for her to work full time if her entire income would go to a daycare anyway. She may have given up the career of her dreams, selflessly, to be home with her children while they are young. Or, maybe she's always dreamed of growing up and raising kids, only to later realize it's not all it's cracked up to be. It's hard. Being a Mom is hard work! Mom's don't get vacation days, sick days, or mental health days. We push through, doing the very best we can, most of the time wondering if we're doing it all right. 

The truth is, whether you're a Stay at Home Mom or a Working Mom, you have challenges and you work your tail off. Neither of these titles is glamorous, nor is one above another. Mom's are Mom's every single minute of every single day. We are always thinking of our children. We continually strive to do what is best for them, while still trying to maintain our own sanity. The grass isn't greener on one side or the other. Whether you stay at home or work outside of the home, you are just as important.  

Mom's, hear this, be grateful for your situation, whatever it may be. You are on the path that was designed specifically for you. Some days are tougher than others, that's for sure. Be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself. Love yourself. You deserve it.


Saturday, January 18, 2014


Yes, I'm still alive! 

The truth is, the holidays wore me smooth out! 

Also, the last several weeks have been emotionally exhausting. 

I have writer's block like a mutha. 

I've been doing stuff. Like, somewhat creative stuff. I just can't seem to find the motivation to post about it.

I promise to be back soon. 

To be completely honest, I've been down lately. It's difficult for me to post when I'm in an emotional low, because I don't want to bring others down, or to come across as an ungrateful whiner. 

The truth is, it ain't always pretty. Sometimes it's U-G-L-Y and I ain't got no alibi, UGLY! 

My head is swimming with......murky stuff.

This week I found out about a baby boy who died from IBD. Eff! He was about the same age as Landon when he was diagnosed. It makes me so freaking sad and it pisses me off. Nobody should have to to deal with that. The heartache that Mama is dealing with at this moment in time has to be horrendous. It isn't fair.

We are dealing with some heavy decisions regarding Landon and his long term care. I know in my heart what is right and what we need to do. So does Scott. If only it were that simple. We are at a cross roads and we are going to have to be strong advocates for Landon, once again. I don't doubt our ability to do that, it's more that I don't look forward to it. I will do whatever is necessary, in the highest and best for my child. I always do. It doesn't mean it's easy.

Sometimes, I feel like people look at Landon and see how well he's doing and assume everything is totally fine. Mostly, things are good. I choose to see the good, so that's what I share. You wanna know what I don't always share? The fact that I'm still holding my breath, waiting for the day we get the news that he's in remission. I don't share how stressed I am in the mornings trying to get his breakfast, while getting myself and him ready to leave, and trying not to stress him out, and making it seem fun for him to take all of his vitamins and supplements. I'm not talking about how difficult it must be for my husband, who is simply amazing, because he puts up with me being a micro manager of everything that goes on with Landon. It isn't easy being married to me sometimes. Scott is solid. I wouldn't be able to do what I do without him. I don't talk about the nights I cry myself to sleep because, dammit, WHY? I don't talk about the guilt. Oh. My. Gosh. The GUILT. Am I making the right decisions? Could I have done things differently? What if I would have been able to breast feed longer? Should I have eaten different during pregnancy? Was I too hard on him today? Did I stress him out today? I don't talk about the immense financial burden. I'm not sharing about how hard it is to keep all these emotions inside because I'm just sure everyone is sick of hearing about it.  

So, yeah. There it is.  

Please don't give up on me.

I promise the positive, fun Leslee will return. Soon.